“If it’s not ready to be clear, it’s ok to leave it confusing.”

I was told this by a close friend many years ago and I can tell you that it has proved to be one of the most liberating moments in my life. The comfort it has provided has been significant.

I am not sure whether it’s a human, personal or male trait but the tendency to want to fix problems the moment they arise has caused me considerable and at most times unnecessary stress. I am sure I am not alone.

What I have learnt is that in many cases a knee jerk reaction to a problem rarely provides the best outcome and often you just need time to think it through and gather more information. Clearly I am not talking about simple decisions because simple decisions rarely cause anxiety.

The other aspect that I have found is that I rarely make good decisions in the evening. I’m usually tired and have a tendency to over think things because of this fatigue. I have given myself permission to sleep on it and the amount of times I have woken up and the answer is clear in my head is in the majority. I am not sure what my brain does overnight but it seems to work it out.

Giving yourself permission to leave it confusing until it’s ready to become clear is also really useful when you have those problems that arise and then seem to just sort themselves out without you having to do anything. People have a tendency to try and pass their problems onto you whether they realise it or not. Often they will say it out loud just to get it off their chests in the hope that someone will fix it for them. If you have a fixit mind set like me you often cannot help but get involved. By giving yourself time to let the answer become clear, the resolution will often take care of itself.

Try and give it a go next time you have to make a significant decision and you are just not sure what to do. Give yourself time and reduce your anxiety. I can tell you it works.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *